Friday, January 4, 2008

A summary of pet-related events that transpired over Christmas vacation

My cousin's cat, Amelie. He maintains that
she's concentrated evil. Sometimes, I agree.

Dec. 23 – While at my grandparents' house, cousin S's fiancee's dog, Potato, eats five cinnamon rolls that are rising. Cousin's fiancee is a vet and mulls over various vomit-inducing strategies before giving the dog (a French bulldog) Pepcid to ease the stomach upset. At 2 that morning, fiancee checks on Potato to find that the yeast in the rolls has fermented in the dog's stomach, causing intoxication. Fiancee takes the dog to a nearby hospital, obtaining an IV in the nick of time. Potato stays on IV and narrowly avoids falling into a coma. I hear she's doing better now.

Jan. 1 – About to come home from Portland. Just as we are off to head to the airport, cousin C's cat throws up on his CRT computer monitor, causing it to short out. The smell of burnt cat vomit fills the apartment. After determining that the computer is fine and the monitor is not, we leave for the airport.

Jan. 1 – I learn that one of my rats, Charlie, has died sometime overnight and my housesitter has put her in the freezer. RIP Charlie.

Jan. 1 – While on the phone with my mother telling her that Charlie croaked, I hear that my sister's boyfriend's family's dogs got into a bottle of doggie anti-seizure medicine. Boyfriend called cousin's fiancee (the aforementioned one) and got a recipe for homemade vomit-inducing medication – a mixture of hydrogen peroxide and water. Boyfriend tries the solution; it works. Dogs vomit. I hear they're doing fine.

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