Friday, January 4, 2008

Solely for the sake of argument

Reasons I would thrive in Portland

  1. I like bearded hippie guys who wear North Face, ride bikes and pretend to be poor
  2. I like books
  3. I like riding my bike
  4. I love coffee, microbrews, organic produce and locally-produced stuff
  5. I’m one of those deeply cynical yet sometimes earnest leftist types
  6. I like cheap rent
  7. I’m a middle-class white person
  8. I have relatives in the area...relatives I actually like.

Reasons I would die in Portland

  1. I shiver uncontrollably whenever it drops below 60 degrees
  2. I love sandals, the beach, tank tops, and lounging in my bathing suit as much as possible
  3. I love margaritas and Mexican food

3a. I won’t eat Mexican food outside of Mexico, California and perhaps Arizona

  1. I’m intimidated by hipsters
  2. Sometimes I want to punch overly earnest, vocal leftist types in the face
  3. I like shopping, makeup, straightening my hair, and otherwise being a superficial, high-maintenance California floozy

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