The Mystery of the Lost Sweater

My large wardrobe, coupled with my fruit-fly-like attention span, makes for a lot of misplaced clothes. Once, I realized that one of my favorite white tank tops had been missing for months. At that moment, I decided I wanted to wear it, and wear it now. I finally decided my friend (who, at that point in time, borrowed clothes with impunity) had, erm, repossessed it. I summoned all the appropriate righteous outrage...and then found the tank top crumpled in a random box (I was in the midst of moving).

Now that it's downright nippy in San Diego, I started wondering where my plum-colored sweater went. Y'know, the pima cotton one from Nordstrom. My friend definitely hadn't borrowed it, so what then hell happened to it?

I checked the hamper, the Lane chest and finally the dark depths of my closet. Turns out it had fallen off the hanger and wedged itself into a crevice of my closet. Ah-ha! Just as I had suspected.

What I really need is a computerized system to keep track of all my clothes...not unlike the one that Cher had at the beginning of Clueless (the finest film ever made, by the way). It would keep track of winning outfits, suggest new combinations, automatically put dirty clothes in the hamper, keep me from under- or over-wearing a particular garment, and keep all my ducks (sweaters, jeans, tops, etc.) in a row. Seriously, why hasn't anyone invented this yet?