I climbed through this window.

On Friday I came home from work toting a couple big bags of groceries. I was looking forward to a relaxed evening of food and the TV show Dexter (highly recommended, if you like sexy serial killers). I turned my key in the lock and...nothing. The door wouldn't budge.

In warm weather it's common for the paint to stick a little, but I quickly threw my entire body weight against the door and realized that this time, something was different.

I called the on-site manager, whose phone was turned off, then went over and knocked on her door. She wasn't home, of course.

At this point, I was hot, tired, and damn pissed. I was also wearing this vintage 60s minidress (tight! short! non-stretch fabric!), black tights, and black flats.

I was not dressed to squeeze/dive through a small bathroom window into my apartment, but that's exactly what I did.

In high school I had a phase where I was a bad kid who liked to sneak out at night, and my experience popping off window screens, balancing on fire escape railings and going headfirst through a window served me well.

I'm a bit bruised but the dress and tights are fine.

(The on-site manager still hasn't called me back, but I must conclude that someone - possibly the landlord, who was working on building improvements - went into my apartment and locked the deadbolt, which to my knowledge can only be unlocked from the inside. I'm only slightly outraged that someone went into my apartment without notifying me. That's illegal shit right there.)